Imago Relationship Therapy

by Ruth Eichler, LMSW, ACSW

  • Are you in a relationship thatís in trouble?
  • Maybe you wonder what happened to the person you fell in love with.
  • Would you like to rediscover the passion and intimacy you once had?
  • Or perhaps you are planning to marry or are just newly married.
  • Do you want some tools and skills that will help your partnership create a lasting, loving relationship?
  • Or perhaps you are single and are tired of getting into relationships that donít work for you.

Imago Relationship Therapy provides tools and skills necessary for transforming relationships and creates a sacred space for healing and growth that can lead to the relationship youíve always wanted.

When we fall in love, itís supposed to last forever. We seem magically transformed, and we feel alive, whole and connected to the world and the people in it. Before we know it, the honeymoon feeling disappears, and we begin to feel disillusioned, frustrated, angry and betrayed. In trying to get our partner to give us what we want, we criticize, withdraw, shame, blame, intimidate or cry. Some of us remain stuck in this painful struggle to get what we need until we either break up or seek help.

In the beginning stage of love, everything seems perfect. Some people feel a sense of finally being home or of being complete. Research shows that in this stage of love, a peptide, PEA, is actually produced that increases energy, feelings of well being, positive outlook, libido and diminishes pain. We often believe that the other person brings out the best in us, and in many cases they do. So why does the love seem to go away?

In pursuing the feeling of joyful aliveness found in romantic love, we unknowingly seek relationships with people who emotionally resemble our primary caretakers in both positive and negative ways Ė we call this finding our Imago match. The term ďImagoĒ actually comes from the Latin word that means image. Even though the Imago match includes both positive and negative characteristics, itís the negative ones that get us in trouble. When we remain unaware of the hidden agenda of romantic love, we keep on making the same mistakes. The good news is that conflict is actually growth trying to happen. By resolving our problems through Imago Dialogue and re-connection, the emotional bond initially created by romantic love can evolve into the powerful bond that is real love. We wake up and co-create a whole new chapter is our relationship.


Articles by Ruth Eichler, LMSW, ACSW

Additional Resources

  • Book: Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
  • Book: The Truth About Love by Pat Love

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